IN my six months on tour, co-starring in a grand illusion show, I believe I learned a lot more of what not to do than what really makes a successful show.
That may sound a bit pretentious, but that's actually the truth. The organization I was with and the man I worked for actually taught me more about the pitfalls of unprofessionalism than what makes a great illusion show.
For starters, let's get the big stuff out of the way. As an employer, this man claimed to be very "anti-drama," and in fact had a no tolerance, one-strike policy concerning drama in the workplace. The application, the job advertisements he posted, everywhere it was made very clear he didn't tolerate drama. In fact, had fired an entire staff and started fresh because he was tired of the drama associated with that staff.
The irony? Every single issue, every dramatic element anyone ever encountered while on this crew stemmed from the boss himself. The man created the very drama he railed against, lived in quite possibly the most dramatic atmosphere because he made it that way. I doubt very seriously the man could have a decent day, by anyone else's standards, because his world isn't fine unless there is something wrong.
The real problems stemmed from basic issues, I believe, of business 101. Here is a list of "Don't's" that I've picked up over the last half year just from watching my boss:
*Don't hire someone just because you want to fuck them.
*Don't hire someone just because they want to fuck you.
*Don't threaten your employees to get results. Especially not for every task you assign.
*Don't talk bad about everyone behind their backs. People quickly realize you talk shit about everyone, and everyone gladly takes sides against you.
*Don't break laws just to assert your supposed authority. (smoking in a strictly non-smoking building was the annoying one)
*Don't pretend like you know everything. Your, "I've been doing this 11 years and this is the way I've always done it and that's how we're going to do it!" doesn't cut it in this economy. Either you want a good show or not, and either you'll listen to countless people who have told you to fix the same things or you will sink. Period.
*Don't spend your payroll money on an ATV, or new boat, or new car, or videogames, or tattoos, or liquor, or drugs for your boyfriend.
*Don't take all the money you make off one show and sink into cheap, ridiculous halloween props you get at the mall just to "dress up the stage." It gets in the way, and you pay WAY too much for it at a retail store.
*If a prop is broken, don't say, "well, lets see if we can fake through it for this week and we'll fix it later, I'm tired."
*Don't be such an obvious drug addict, especially when your show preaches about the dangers of doing drugs.
Those are just the highlights...
I will write more about the theory behind a GOOD show tomorrow...
